


Out Of Character

by yalltookmyusernameideas



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Depression, Gen, Sad Ending, remus is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:01:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22595962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yalltookmyusernameideas/pseuds/yalltookmyusernameideas
Summary: When someone thought of Remus Sanders, they thought of a crazy high school boy. They did not think of this.I do not give my consent for this fic to be posted on Fanfic Pocket Archive Library (Unofficial) or any other similar app.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Out Of Character

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies in advance, this is a bit of a vent!

Remus Sanders was the kind of person you could give a pack of mustard seeds mixed with the sugar dust from the bottom of a Sour Patch Kids bag and start your sentence with “If you snort this I will-” and it’ll be gone and he’ll be gagging but smiling like an idiot before you can say “-give you five dollars.” You won’t complain, you got free entertainment from the strangest kid in the junior class, but you might shoot him an odd look and think twice before talking shit when there’s even a  _ chance  _ he’s within earshot. 

Remus Sanders was wild and crazy and loud. He always raised his hand to read in english class, using character voices both when it was and wasn't appropriate. He stuck sticky notes on peoples’ lockers that weren’t necessarily threatening, just a little odd, listing strange facts or sayings that were just ever so slightly wrong. He aggressively loved his friends, going so far as to throw water bottles whenever he thought one of them needed it. He played  _ trombone _ , for goodness sake! Everyone knew the trombones were wild. 

By anyone’s standards, Remus was a happy, healthy, and lively young man, if a little odd. He had loving parents, a twin brother that he bickered with, and had just gotten his driver’s license. Remus’ life seemed great! And it was! He knew that, it really was. It wasn't  _ perfect _ , but his friend Dee told him the ‘perfect family’ idea was a caricature created by society that was unachievable, so he was alright with being a little not-perfect. 

But Remus had… a lot. He had so much more than so many other people, surely he should be happy, right? He should be able to laugh and feel genuine joy, tease abd be teased by his friends and feel the love that is camaraderie, smile and not feel exhausted by the effort. 

Remus should not be gorging himself when seeing his friends because he had no motivation to eat if others weren’t watching. Remus shouldn’t struggle to simply brush his teeth, much less shower. Remus should be able to feel something other than constantly sad, constantly  _ numb _ . 

Remus should be outside, driving around with his friends and having fun, buying cheap fast food as they prepare for their next adventure. Remus should be looking into colleges and going on campus tours, giddy at the thought of a new beginning. Remus should be practicing for the band competition in two weeks, he had to master his solo. 

Remus should not be sitting in this small office every Tuesday from 4:00 to 5:00, the office with overly plush chairs and a heating system that worked just a  _ little  _ too hard. He should not be gripping one of the throw pillows like the lifesaver keeping him afloat and refusing to look the doctor across from him in the eye. Remus should not be here, he should be anywhere  _ but  _ here. But here is where he was. 

Remus felt so… guilty. He didn’t need this so much. He was dramatic, surely he was blowing this out of proportion. Surely there was someone who needed this hour greater than he did. Surely there was something, some _ one _ more urgent that the good doctor should be seeing to, someone other than him. After all, he had it oh so good, didn’t he? 

Yet here he was, sat on the overly plush couch in the slightly stuffy office, clutching a cushion and doing his best not to meet Dr. Picani’s eyes as he very deliberately  _ did not cry _ . 

Remus did cry when he left that session and Dr. Picani handed his mom some forms detailing his diagnosis. Depression. 

Remus cried in the car on the way home, and his mom didn’t say anything, because what do you say to your son when he feels like he’s broken, like there’s something wrong with him and he can’t do anything about it? 

Remus cried angry tears on the car ride home, glaring at the pastel blue sheet sitting on the dashboard. 

He really didn’t need another reason to be sad. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, your feedback is appreciated!  
> come find me on tumblr @yalltookmyurlideas


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